The Return of a Child No One Seems to Want
(Artyom Savelyev – Image Credit: AP)
By now, we’ve all heard the story of Artyom, the seven-year-old Russian boy adopted by a Tennessee woman and returned to Moscow because of what the adoptive mother states were daunting behavioral problems.
The more I read the unfolding details of this story, the more I’m confounded. The first question that came to my mind was – why was Artyom’s name changed to Justin? This is a child we’re talking about here, not a pet. He’s seven years old. How confusing is it to be called Artyom the first seven years of your life and then suddenly you’re Justin. Did he have a say in the name change? Did he choose the name? I don’t know the facts but it seems doubtful any child would want something as personal as their first name to be altered in any way, especially by a stranger. And his adoptive mother was that. Spending a bit of time with him in his native country prior to the adoption doesn’t constitute getting to know a child. Again, they’re not pets. Even kittens and puppies have a hard time adjusting to new surroundings, so why wouldn’t a child?
The grandmother of the Tennessee woman said Artyom became violent and that’s why they decided to return him to his native country.
Again, I don’t know what happened, but this little boy isn’t a manufactured good you can return because it didn’t meet your expectations. I can only imagine Artyom’s fear at living with a new family in a new country with a new name while also having to learn a new culture and language. Can any of us blame him for not being the perfect child, whatever that may be? Would any of us have behaved bravely if we’d been put in the same situation? I think not. We would have been terrified. And being powerless, we would have acted out.
When the problems first arose, why didn’t the adoptive mother take him to a child psychologist? We have plenty of them in this country. They’re only one phone call away. Better still, why did she feel she had to go to Russia to adopt a child? Last I heard there are plenty of kids in America that need loving parents. Many of them have physical disabilities. Many are children of color. Don’t they need homes? Or does wanting to be a parent mean that the child has to fit into the mother or father’s preconceived notion of what a child should be like? Pretty. Handsome. Popular. Whole.
Whatever happens with this poor little boy, I hope he gets the love he deserves from someone in his own country. As a race, we’ve failed him badly. We’ve failed too many of our children.
They are not possessions. They are not toys. They deserve better from every adult.
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