Guest blog with Kaily Hart!!
Kaily’s hijacked my blog today and she’s talking about condoms – wheee! This is gonna be one great post! 
Take it away, Kaily!
Kaily Hart
RUBBERS & ROMANCE
Thanks, Tina for having me here today! When I was trying to think about what to write I thought about where I’m at in my current Work In Progress (WIP). I’m at the point where the hero and heroine are about to ‘do it’. Yeah, the fun part! With that comes a whole range of decisions for the writer including…the use of rubbers. Yeah, rubbers. Is this a non-issue or is it really the 800-pound gorilla in the room when it comes to reading romance?
I write contemporary romance. Hot and steamy and okay, sometimes dirty contemporary romance, erotic romance if you will. I try to make it as feasible and realistic as possible while still maintaining the fantasy element and keeping the reader grounded in the story. The last thing I want to do is have a reader pulled out of the story because of an element or the handling of it. It’s why I think a lot about the use of condoms in my books and how I would incorporate it into the story. Seamlessly. It has to be seamless, but I just can’t leave it out. The bottom line is I don’t write dumb heroines. My modern heroines are aware of the risks of being sexually activity in this day and age and they wouldn’t think to have sex with a new guy without using protection. They would at least think about it—before, during or after. Of course, there’s always the spur of the moment, the ‘we’re so into it that we might forget’ moments. It happens, right? I’m not trying to preach anything (far from it) and I want my books to be as hot as possible, but I feel that if I just exclude this whole area completely, I wouldn’t be fair to my characters, that I would be doing them a disservice. Yeah, I know. I probably sound a bit nuts LOL. I don’t spend a lot of time or words on this in the actual story. It needs to be part of the action, it needs to flow and it needs to be done in a way where the reader thinks nothing of it. It can be a quick line of dialogue, a descriptive action, heck…it can even be a sexy element in and of itself and be a feature of the scene! Other sub-genres such as historical, paranormal, futuristic and sci-fi I think can get away with not dealing with this area, but it’s kinda hard with contemporary to leave it out completely. At least I think so.
In light of the blog topic, I thought I’d share an excerpt from my most recent book, POINT BLANK that has a condom reference . ENJOY!
I’m not going to last any time at all.
The realization slammed into him. Rex grabbed a rubber from where he’d stashed them earlier in the bedside table.
“I need to do this now,” he bit out.
She watched wide-eyed as he tore open the packet and rolled it down his length. Her lips parted and the pulse at the bottom of her throat throbbed as he hissed at his own touch. Never had he been so hard, so sensitive and so much at the edge of his control. He wanted her with a force that was primitive and staggering in its intensity and completely removed from anything he’d ever experienced before.
Once he touched her, he knew he was likely to forget everything and anything, even his own f@#%ing name.
So…what do YOU think about the use of rubbers in contemporary romance these days? Yes? No? Depends??
About Me:
Kaily Hart, a seemingly straight-laced mother of four left corporate America and a high-powered, lucrative career to be a stay at home mom. Ha! That lasted about four weeks, during which time she realized she had a deeply repressed dream —to write. And romance at that! By day, Kaily plays conservative wife and soccer mom, but at night crafts hot and steamy tales of romance and love with gorgeous heroes who wouldn’t dream of leaving the toilet set up. Ever. She’s smart and sassy, at least in her own mind, and is trying her best to bring the alpha male solidly back to contemporary romance, one hot story at a time. Two years ago she never would have thought she’d be doing this, but now that she is? Well, you couldn’t pay her enough to do anything else.
My books, PICTURE THIS, PAY UP, PLAY ME and POINT BLANK are all currently available from Ellora’s Cave and other ebook outlets. PERECTLY UNEXPECTED is available from Ellora’s Cave and other print book sellers.
If anyone would want to contact me (which I would love by the way) or just keep up with what I’m doing, you can find me all over:
Web – www.kailyhart.com
Blog – http://kailyhart.blogspot.com/
Group blog – http://passionatereads.com/
Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/kaily.hart
Twitter – http://twitter.com/kailyhart
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Hey, Tina, thanks for having me here today, especially to talk about THIS topic. I’m really interested in everyone’s thoughts about this so come on…talk to me!
Always happy to have you here, Kaily!
As to condoms…the trick is getting them into the hot and heavy scene without it sounding like an after school special on safe sex. I tend to make them as inobtrusive as possible.
Hahahaha…I just finished editing the first ‘official’ sex scene, in which my 20-y/o heroine decides to lose her virginity. Suddenly, he stops and rummages through the bedside table. She asks him what he’s looking for; he waves a packet at her. “For your protection”….and while she has a momentary ‘duh!’ moment, she’s happy HE remembered, and everything goes well. Then afterwards, she asks how soon before they can do ‘it’ again, and he says ‘Glad I bought an entire box’, which eases her embarrassment!
I’ve been known to leave out the condom at times, but have been more diligent about putting them in my Kenzie stories. Great post and excerpt, Kaily!
Thanks, Molly! I believe thinking about protection is such an intrinisic and natural part of sex these days I don’t think personally it takes away from a story or pulls a reader out of a scene. Of course, it does have to be done right and it can’t read like a sermon or an education session. There are sexy and just natural ways to incorporate it. It doesn’t take more than a line, a few words and I agree it can become a part of the scene itself whether it’s sensual or funny!
Reaching into her night stand she grabs a little foil packet and hands it to him silently. School me Kaily, how would you write it. I took creative writing in college and aced it, but it’s been sooo long since I’ve written anything but my signature. As always luv ‘ya and your work.
Interesting blog and I’m with you, the reference to condom use needs to fit the story and most of the time, the quicker the better:)
What a hot excerpt, Kaily! And yeah, it really blends seamlessly
I love that you give it a thorough thought 
I loved Point Blank and the scene was perfect…flowed and it didn’t feel like forced, like an afterthought. I think that birth control in general should be talked about in a book. At least have a couple of sentences conversation about it. A condom should always be used unless you are married. I guess I’m a littel old fashioned in that one area. LOL!
Great post.
Dale, for me it all depends on the characters-who they are, their background, their context- and what’s happening in the scene. Not the action specifically but how the characters were at the beginning of the scene and what/how they’ve changed by the end. This is one aspect that can be used to help that along. Or it can be just for fun! Thanks as always!!
Paris, agreed, it doesn’t need to be dwelled on.
Thanks, Ju! You’d be surprised at the things I obssess on with writing.
Marika, that’s the best compliment you could give me! Thank you so much! It can’t be an afterthought, it has to just be part of the ‘process’ because it just is these days. And as I said, my characters aren’t dumb (for the most part unless I want them to be
) and for me, it’s all grounded in the characters!
Kaily,
You’re right. Years ago, I don’t think authors even considered that aspect most of the time. But nowadays, wearing a condom is not only smart, it’s really necessary. I agree with the others that we don’t have to make a big deal about it. Do it quickly and get on to the rest of the scene. Your stories are always so hot that one doesn’t even think twice about that. They’re focused on what your hero is doing to your heroine!
Great blog. I completely admire how seemlessly you wove it all together. A wonderful example.
Hi Kaily!! I love the story and the excerpt…hot, hot, and steamy!
I like how Rex is out of control and is still thinking of her protection. Maybe I am old fashioned, but it seems that “some” guys just do not care about the lady and enjoy themselves. But what better way to show her you care.
To me it is him protecting her how he can. I say YES include condoms in stories. It needs to flow with the story line, not just an added on thought. You did it beautifully in the transition, but you could work into the storyline a little “playful” side…get flavored ones…LOL.
I know it might be out of context, but our young ladies need to know condoms can save their lives in more than one way. We need to remind ourselves of the generations that will come after us. Condoms save us from unwanted pregnancies and STDs that are out there and we need to prevent them from spreading.
LisaLee
Hey, Gail, thank you!!! Yes, the writing is never about the protection aspect, it’s about what’s happening with the characters.
Thank you, Jean!
LisaLee, that’s it EXACTLY. It’s showing consideration and caring, even when he’s getting his rocks off. It’s another opportunity to show a glimpse into the type of man he is, that he has integrity and honor and not just some jerk who doesn’t give a thought to the woman. You put it so much better than I did LOL. And I’ve got some ideas for playful handling as well in future books….
As a reader I’m actually pulled out of the story if there isn’t a condom or some talk of birth control. At the very least I expect there to be a “oh, holy crap, what did we do” moment if hormones and emotions just took over.
Great post Kaily.
Nina, that’s funny. As a reader it pulls me out of the story if it isn’t mentioned AT ALL in contemporary romance and they ‘get it on’. I know people argue that fiction is fantasy after all and doesn’t include things like bathroom breaks and other mundane ‘real’ things. I get that, but this is just so much a part of sex today I immediately feel disconnected from characters who wouldn’t even think about it. Even if it’s later and they’re ‘Oh no what was I thinking I never forget’ kind of thing. Thanks for stopping by!
I agree, in contemporary romance you need to at least mention birth control, even its lack. If you don’t readers start waiting to hear about the baby.
In one of my works, the couple has been committed for two years, so they’ve evolved passed condoms and she’s on the pill. But I still make sure to mention it, so the reader knows not only that the heroine isn’t stupid, but to show some aspect of the character by how she feels about the hero/their relationship in the process.
Willa, I do think in contemporary it can’t be ignored completely, just my view. Other genres have a lot more flexibility in this of course. And again, I totally agree. It really is an aspect of the character in terms of actions, what’s said and handling!